Justice Fo All

double hernia operation

2009-03-20T15:34:00.013-04:00

i'm no lomger interested in having sex, internet porn is enough for me.

i also had that nasty nubin on my stomach stuck back in.

The pain is really bad though.

in a bit of good news i was able to make a small fart this morning.

Six days since the operation and i was able to go number 2 today, thank you milk of magnesia.

update, i know i said i wasn't going to have sex anymore but that was before Valerie Bertonelli lost 50 lbs. i really want to get back in sex condition for Valerie.

sweating

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T22:36:00.001-05:00

Franki on the Krok Show

2008-12-23T22:09:00.001-05:00

Woman Arrested for kissing Penis of a Replica of Michael Angelo’s David by American Artist Herr Krokodil

2007-07-22T19:35:00.001-04:00

AKRON, Ohio — A woman has been arrested on suspicion of kissing the penis of a replica of Michael Angelo’s David by American artist Herr Krokodil and smudging the statue’s bone-white penis with her lipstick, Ohio judicial officials said Saturday.

Police said they arrested a woman whose, identity has not been released, after she kissed the statue’s penis on Thursday. The woman keeps insisting that the statue is a colleague and is 19-years-old. If found competent the woman will be tried in a court in the southern city of Youngstown on Aug. 16 for "damage to a work of art," judicial officials said.

The statue, which is worth an estimated $20 million, was on display at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Akron. It is part of an exhibition slated to run at the museum through Sept. 30th, 2010.

Krokodil is known for his abstract sculpting techniques, repetitive themes and the use of his own body as the model for his statues.

Police say the woman was wearing a distinctive orange shade of lipstick so the arrest was rather easy.

Krokodil has lived in Davie for over half- century. He won the prestigious Golden Gator award at the Micanopy Statue Biennale in 2001.

Justice fo’ all.

Picture Stolen From Doozie

2007-07-21T19:03:00.000-04:00

Doozie,

I altered the picture because I did not find it exciting.

Justice fo' all.

Nuclear Power vs. Renewable Energy

2007-07-21T08:59:00.000-04:00

It would take one windmill to power Dirty’s vibrator while one nuclear rod could power all the vibrators in Ohio. This video gives a rare glimpse of the Wind and its power. I really think the Wind is trying to mislead you.

If a nuclear plant has a meltdown a horn will sound and you can get in your car and hall butt the other way.

Justice fo’ all.

Three Hour Tour

2007-07-20T20:54:00.000-04:00

At my thirty-year class reunion, the fellas carried me around the Sheraton Sand Key shouting Herr Kokodil is omnipotent, not impotent. Why you ask. Because back in high school I put the names of the girls who would look great in thirty years in one tube and put the girls who would be obese slobs in another. The rule of the game was the girl had to be attractive back in high school. Well I’ve always been able to pick the hottest and most wild chicks, so I won.

But, to this day I cannot decide whether I would have shacked up with Ginger or Maryanne on Gilligan’s Island. This really bugs me. You say do both, but I always choose the best and what if the one I had sex with first wasn’t the best? Then I would have been wrong.

Justice fo’ all.

Birds Take Up Residence In Man's Afro

2007-07-19T20:53:00.000-04:00

AHHH! Virginia Doctor Finds Birds Living In Man's Afro

(OPP) Doctors thought the strange, chirping coming from Matt’s head might be from dry eyes or edemas. Then a seagull flew out of his fro.

A doctor found five birds living in his fro, 4 seagulls and 1 albatross.

"I'd put my hand on my head and out flew a bird. I thought the chirping was blood coursing through my head," Matt told the liberal media.

"I could hear them. I actually thought I was going crazy."

Matt said he likely received the bird infestation while on a kayaking trip to DC this summer. Bird infestations are not uncommon in men who wear fros.

"It was weird and traumatic," said Matt, of Arlington. "I would get this pain that would drop me to my knees."

Matt's girlfriend, Sarah, teased him about it.

"I told him, 'I will love you through your fro birds,'" she told the liberal newspaper.

Justice fo’ all.

Cute Deaf Mute Using Sign Language Triggers Brawl

2007-07-18T19:39:00.001-04:00

Akron, OHIO — A brawl involving four men and a woman apparently began over a misunderstanding when a woman who is deaf and mute was communicating through sign language and some men got the wrong message, thinking that the hand gestures were disrespectful.

Police say what resulted was a brawl outside a smoothie store in east Akron.

Sarah Dirty, 28, had just turned a corner in her Ford van when she noticed a truck with three hot men alongside her van. The deaf mute woman started signing “If I wasn’t married I’d lick your entire body,” police said.

The men thought the sign language gestures were showing disrespect toward them, police said. The men made some gestures of their own and cut in front of Ms. Dirty forcing her into the parking lot of the smoothie store.

In the parking lot, the three men from the truck jumped Ms. Dirty, police said.

The boyfriend of Ms. Dirty, Matt Outawork, who volunteers at the smoothie store, came out and began pummeling the three men.

Police said “that young man Matt saved her life.”

When police searched Dirty they found several plastic baggies of meth, a glass pipe and $691 in her pockets, court documents said.

The investigation into the brawl is ongoing.

Justice fo' all.

I'm Furious

2007-07-17T20:06:00.000-04:00

How can I go get a snowcone with the top down and hit range balls when it's thundering? Mother nature is showin me disrespect.

Justice fo' all?

Paint Brush Embedded In Painter's Head

2007-07-17T19:16:00.000-04:00

Washington Painter Failed To Notice Embedded Paint Brush In Her Head

(OPP) Painter Ms. Doozie Beagles kept painting for more than 3-days despite the headaches that started after a clash with a fellow painter.

Doozie was painting for the local college during the July 15 incident where brushes were used as knives involving fellow painter Paco Jesus Hernandez. She had numerous body wounds stitched up afterward but didn’t make a thorough check of her head, the Press reported Tuesday.

Doozie said “I got the best of that wetback, he stole my favorite brush, that was disrespectful.”

Doozie later suffered an eye infection and complained of lethargy and shooting pains in her head.

Then last week, her doctor found a paint brush imbedded in her head.

"I can laugh about it now, but the doctor told me it could have been serious," “I guess I didn’t notice the paintbrush because I had started to wear my hair in a fro,“ Doozie said.

"I've got the paint brush at home, sitting on the bedside table next to my picture of Herr Krokodil," she said. "If he (Paco) comes looking for that paint brush, I’m going to stab him in the head."

Justice fo’ all.

What If Yo Mammy Had Been Knocked-up By A Homie

2007-07-16T19:16:00.001-04:00

Justice fo' all.

What Was The White Boy Thinking?

2007-07-15T21:01:00.000-04:00

White Javelin thrower misfires and spears the honkie doing the long jump. This is why I don't go to track and field events, they're dangerous. I'll never forget in High School I got hit in the head with the shot put.

Justice fo all.

Happy Birthday Dirty

2007-07-15T10:01:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I forgot your birthday. Hope you had a great day. This birthday video is actually a real video of Dirty when she was just 26. Happy Birthday.

Justice fo' all.

Why Are Internet Predators Usually White Middle Age Males?

2007-07-15T09:02:00.001-04:00

I can accept the blacks going around stabbing and shooting everyone because this is part of the black culture but why is it that white middle age men are the ones getting arrested for trying to hook up with a 13-year-old over the internet?

This really bothers me since I’m a white male using the internet. This behavior casts a shadow over respectable white male internet users like myself.

I guess these men have always been around but the internet has given them a tool to more easily catch their prey.

I would like to suggest that a law be enacted that any white middle age male caught trying to arrange sex with a minor should be stoned to death. I’m suggesting this severe punishment in hopes that these men will beat off in the shower like all the normal white middle age men.

As a sidebar comment, evidence suggests that American women are fatter, uglier, and meaner than they have ever been in American history. If the current study being conducted by Krokodil Consulting Ltd. shows this to be a contributory factor in why white middle age males are committing such terrible acts, then I believe the country needs to seriously consider importing Russian and Vietnamese women to keep the men of this country perversion free.

Justice fo’ all.

Don't pet a Gator

2007-07-14T22:52:00.000-04:00

Justice fo all.

Sheffield claims Torre treated Jungle Bunnies, Latinos on Yanks differently

2007-07-14T09:13:00.000-04:00

Sheffield claims Torre treated Jungle Bunnies, Latinos on Yanks differently

SEATTLE (OPP)-- Detroit slugger Gary Sheffield had an pimp-tight view of the New York Yankees when he joined the team before the 2004 season.

The latest controversy surrounding Sheffield surfaced Friday, with comments he made to HBO's Real Homie Sports

Sheffield's strongest opinions were about the Yankees and Torre. Sheffield said Friday he felt disrespected from the time he arrived in New York, that's disrespectful," Sheffield said. "But no one came to my defense to say it was disrespectful."

Sheffield claims Jungle Bunny and Latino players in the Yankees clubhouse were treated differently.

"I think it's a, a way of, the way they do things around there, you know, a Homie who just wants to do crack and be a baby daddy is disrespected" Sheffield told Real Homie Sports. "They run their slave ship differently."

Justice fo’ all.

Toys "B" Us Embraces Discrimination Claim

2007-07-13T21:09:00.000-04:00

Class Action Lawsuit Accuses Stores Of Treating Swamp Guineas Differently

(OPP) When a swamp guinea shopper who had just stuffed a plastic switchblade for his wife's boy in his jacket headed for the door of a Toys "B" Us store, a security po po asked to see a receipt for the item. But a whitey shopper who had just left the same store didn't face the same scrutiny, according to a multimillion-dollar race card discrimination lawsuit against the toy store giant.

The lawsuit accuses Toys "B" Us of singling out Swamp Guinea customers in a pattern of race-based stops, searches and wrongful detentions. It seeks class action status, $400 million in damages and a court order to end discrimination.

Toys "B" Us President and CEO Herr Krokodil called the allegations "right on target."

"Toys 'B' Us disrespects the Swamp Guineas because they are the ones doing all the stealing," he said in a statement. "We look forward to demonstrating that blacks stealing stuff adds a dollar to the price of goods that the whiteys pay for."

Krokodil said from a loss-prevention perspective I still can’t figure out where the Swamp Guineas are hiding the Barbie Dolls. We lose a lot of Barbie Dolls, I don't know how they get them out of here.

"These unconstitutional and illegal acts degrade, humiliate and cause grave harm to blacks trying to steal stuff for Kwanzaa, Juneteenth, MLK Day, and Homie History Month," the lawsuit says.

It says undercover operatives, security guards and employees in the stores routinely surround black shoppers in front of friends, relatives or neighbors and take away the items that they stuffed in their pants.

The lead plaintiff in the lawsuit is Mr. Iguana, a Globetrotter, who says he was stopped by a security guard as he left a Toys "B" Us store in the Bronx with a bicycle stuffed in his pants.

When Mr. Iguana, refused to show his receipt, the security guard made a move toward Mr. Iguana and Mr. Iguana stabbed the guard.

Outside the store a white liberal who lives in a consistent neighborhood told Mr. Iguana he was angry at how he was treated because he was not asked to present his receipt when he left the store, the lawsuit says.

Justice fo’ all.

Workers Free Nude Woman Trapped In Sewer Pipe

2007-07-12T21:26:00.000-04:00

Washington Workers Get Creative To Free Woman Trapped In Sewer Pipe

(OPP) The sound of whining underneath a street Tuesday led a team of city workers to a woman trapped in a narrow culvert _ and you might say they used a backdoor approach to rescue the woman.

The hot, sweaty, scared woman was about 50 feet from the nearest entry point, but since the culvert was just 32 inches in diameter, the workers couldn't fit into it themselves. Not even offers of food and hair products could draw out the woman.

"She was exhausted," said Herr Krokodil, a public works foreman.

Then Krokodil had an idea. They rigged up a long video camera used to inspect drain pipes, and approached the woman from her buttocks. They used the camera to nudge the woman forward.

The camera recorded the rescue, showing the woman sweating and moaning as the camera entered her anal cavity revealing a small polyp. The woman kept yelling don’t stop you sexy sanitation workers. The woman was eventually pushed out by the camera.

The woman’s boyfriend, a fireman, "thought his girlfriend might have entered the culvert to save the beagle that lived downstairs,“ the fireman said.

The city workers were just glad they could tell the woman about the polyp in her colon, but Krokodil said it was the first time he'd helped rescue a nude woman out of the sewer in his 25 years with the city.

"Doozie got very excited when she saw her fireman boyfriend," Krokodil said.

Justice fo’ all.

Sex Slave Contract Please Review and Sign

2007-07-11T23:03:00.000-04:00

This made me laugh

2007-07-11T20:36:00.001-04:00

Justice fo' all

Burying The Honkie Herr Krokodil

2007-07-11T19:37:00.000-04:00

NAACP Symbolically Buries Honkie Herr Krokodil During Public Ceremony In Detroit

(OPP) There was no mourning at this funeral.

Hundreds of onlookers cheered Monday afternoon as the NAACP put to rest a long-standing racist by holding a symbolic burial for the Honkie during its annual convention in Detroit.

"Today we're not just burying the Honkie, we're taking him out of our spirit," said Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. "We gather burying all the things that go with the Honkie. His children, golf clubs, breaded fishsticks and his high-end Mercedes coup.

"Die Honkie, and we don't want to see you round here no more."

National Association for the Advancement of Colored People delegates from across the country gathered at downtown's Homie Center and marched about a quarter-mile to Malcolm X Plaza for a ceremony and rally.

This Honkie has been a thorn in the side of blacks for more than a century.

Black leaders, including the Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, have challenged the Homies to exterminate not only Krokodil but all the Honkies.

"While we are happy to have symbolically stabbed and buried a certain attractive honkie with great hair, but what about all the illegal wetbacks," NAACP National Board Chairman Julian Bond said.

Justice fo all.

Globetrotter Signs Lucrative Endorsement Contract with Afro-sheen USA

2007-07-10T19:57:00.000-04:00

Globetrotter, Mr. Laz Y. Iguana’s, sports agent, Herr Krokodil, announced today that Mr. Iguana has signed a multi-million dollar contract with Afro-sheen USA.

“Mr Iguana’s hair was short and rather dull before he started using Afro-sheen on a daily basis. Since Iguana started using the product his afro stands tall and proud. He can basically have sex with any sweet thang that he desires,” said Herr Krokodil.

In the 30-second commercial the Iguana is seen running out of a 7-Eleven with Afro-sheen instead of the contents of the cash drawer. The media has praised the advertising agency for such a new and fresh advertising theme.

Justice fo’ all.

Woman Calls Aiken Faggot and Then Stabs Him

2007-07-09T19:57:00.000-04:00

The petite woman with great hair said “He touched my hair and had his smelly gay shoe on my arm rest.”

TULSA, Okla. — Clay Aiken was involved in an airplane disturbance with a petite female passenger with great hair Saturday while en route to Tulsa International Airport, a newspaper reported.

The dispute on a Continental Airlines flight took place between Aiken, who was traveling Saturday morning to a performance at the Gay Theater, and Ms. Doozie Beagles, the Tulsa World reported for Sunday's editions.

The "American Idol" singer joked from his hospital bed about being stabbed by Doozie earlier in the day. Aiken said “ I touched her hair because it was so beautiful and then she turned around and started calling me a faggot and then stabbed me in the chest with her blade.

FBI Special Herr Krokodil said the dispute was over Clay Aikens’ touching her hair and resting his foot on the woman's armrest. He said then Ms. Doozie gave Clay Aikens a "minor stabbing" during the argument.

"At that point the flight crew was able to resolve the situation," Krokodil said.

Telephone calls and e-mails from The Associated Press to Clay Aikens and Ms. Doozie Beagles were not returned Sunday.

Justice fo’ all.

Fire Guts Crib Owned by Dead Rapper's Mother

2007-07-08T20:17:00.000-04:00

Lumberton, NC— A Robeson County home owned by da mudda o' da late rapper Tupac Shakur wuz completely gutted by fire Friday night.

Crews investigated da fire dat ripped through Afeni Shakur-Davis’s crib at 2870 Trevor Lane in Lumberton.

About 25 firefighters from three stations wuz on da scene. No one wuz in da crib at da tyme o' da fire, an' dere wuz nahh injuries.

The crib wuz considered uh total loss due ta da massive smoke an' fire damage, officials said.

don't make me shank ya!

Cradle to Grave Lyrics

From tha Cradle to the Grave, life ain't never been easy
Living in the ghetto.

From the cradle to the grave, life ain't never been easy
Living in the ghetto.

June 16, 1971
Mama gave birth
to a hell raisin' heavanly son.
See the doctor tried to smack me
but I smacked him back,
My first words were "thug for life"
and "Papa pass the Mac."
I'm bustin' on these motha fuckas ballin'
Listen you can hear my mini 14 callin'.
From out the window of my drop top
I got my glock cocked
bustin' at niggas
when will it stop ?
Now tell me are you scared of the dark?
Can't close my eyes I see visions
And even with this thug livin'
will I escape in prison ?
Penitentiary chances was an all day thang
The only way to advance
and if you slang
Then you'd better have your nikes on
Cause when we fight
it's in the middle of the night with no lights on.
Hey!!
There must be a God cause I feel lucky,
Paranoid out my mind
this motha fucka's tryin' to rush me.
Am I goin' to jail?
Look at me bailin'
Commin' out the court house
all about mail [???].
Never die
be a hustler mothafuckas
And makin' thugs out you suckas.
From the cradle to the grave.

Justice fo' all.

You Can Lead A Slut To Ann Taylor, But You Can’t Dress Her

2007-07-08T14:41:00.000-04:00

My weekend ritual includes going to Orange Julius for a Smoothie and then a walk through Dillard’s to see if there are any articles of clothing that I don’t already have.

Because I’m a regular I just sit on the bench outside of the Julius and wait for my Smoothie.

Sitting there drooling in anticipation of my Smoothie I notice that a Clearwire Kiosk has been located next to my bench.

All of a sudden I stop drooling for the Smoothie and start drooling for the chick running the Clearwire kiosk. She is so hot. She’s wearing these tight pants with this perfect tight butt. A tight fashionable tube top that accentuated her bust. Her hair was blond and curly. Her smile was beautiful, she must have had her teeth whitened.

Then as fast as my love for her had grown it crashed in a moment. I sat there dumbfounded for when she turned her head I could see that her blouse tag was showing. What kind of slut goes out in public with her tag showing?

I got my Smoothie and had calmed down by the time I had reached Dillard’s so I was able to browse through men’s fashions.

Justice fo all.

Dysfunctional Couple Magazine Says Dike Lesbian Couples Make The Best Neighbors

2007-07-07T09:12:00.000-04:00

Dysfunctional Couple Magazine Editor, Doozie Beagles, conducted a survey of 500 normal couples who lived next door to dysfunctional couples.

Her findings support previous studies conducted by Krokodil Consulting Group that show that normal couples prefer Dike Lesbians as neighbors hands down.

Ms. Doozie Beagles explained that the appeal of Dike Lesbians mainly is the result of them maintaining the curb appeal of their abode. Also Dike Lesbians normally confine their sex to their backyard pool. The moaning from the Dike Lesbians sex seems to be a welcome break from a pool full of screaming kids.

The complete list of Dysfunction Couples that normal people would like to have as neighbors is as follows;

1. Dike Lesbians 68%
2. Hot Lesbians 20%
3. Transgender (male to female) 5%
4. Gay Males 4%
5. Interracial Couple (Black Male and Big Boned trashy white female) 2%
6. Interracial gay Couple ( Gay Black Male and Gay White Male) .5%
7. All Other dysfunctional couples .5%

Ms. Beagles says the percentages have an error factor of + or - 1%.

Justice fo’all.

If Doozie had a Schnauzer instead of a Weener.

2007-07-02T21:05:00.000-04:00

Justice fo' all.

FIU Hoops Star Named to Globetrotters

2007-07-02T19:03:00.000-04:00

METRO-DADE COUNTY — The hero of FIU’s College's intra-mural basketball national team was selected Monday to join the Harlem Globetrotters.

Guard Laz Y. Iguana was picked in the first player draft ever held by the Globetrotters and is one of only three players nationwide asked to attend the team's training camp in Liberty City this October.

Iguana called the selection an ideal fit for him, combining his love for basketball with his desire to smoke crack. Mr. Iguana was deciding whether he should change his name to Meadowlark Iguana.

Iguana's 10 points in the final 45 seconds of the Intra-mural title game carried FIU to a 77-75 victory over previously unbeaten Yomama (Louisiana.) State in March. He scored the winning basket on a lay-up as time expired.

Justice fo’ all.

Florida A&M University Named Best?

2007-07-01T22:19:00.000-04:00

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) — Florida A&M is on top of the academic world, celebrated as one of America's top universities after being chosen college of the year by Time magazine and the Princeton Review.

In June, the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools put the university on probation due to rules violations. Most resulted from FAMU's peeps inability to account for millions of dollars of inventory and some contractual arrangements made for Cadillac Escalades without proper approval.

Justice fo’ all.

Hitting a Target beyond 5 to 7 Yards, Why?

2007-07-01T22:05:00.000-04:00

In Ireland I visited an old military friend who has lost his memory so he didn’t have a clue who I was. While visiting his family his granddaughters came to visit him and they had all just acquired 25 caliber guns for protection. I volunteered to give them a lesson in shooting their weapons.

Since they didn’t know this I thought I should share it with you all too. If you have a handgun for protection, you only need to be accurate from about 5 yards away from your target. In urban violence the action 99% of the time is taking place in a confined area.

The difference between life and death is making sure the safety is off, that the gun is loaded and there is a bullet in the chamber. Once you have that down then you need to practice your speed in firing. Never try to anticipate the bang. If you do you will most likely milk your shot. Aim for the chest and fire quickly. It’s hard to fire quickly when you’re aiming. This is where practice comes in. If you can learn to shoot from the hip it’s even better.

They still sell black silhouettes in Ireland. These are against the law in America but I smuggled some in my hollow cane.

Justice fo’ all.

If Doozie Has A Little Girl

2007-07-01T21:07:00.000-04:00

Justice fo' all.

Feels Great To Whack The Piñata In My Own Bed Again

2007-07-01T15:23:00.001-04:00

There’s just something about the comfort of my king-sized bed with my body print sheets and styling aid stained pillow and my 1997 Hooters Calendar.

It was nice being in Ireland because I was slightly tanner than most of the people.

I’ve decided not to invest in the technology . The payback timeline is pushing my life expectancy.

I ended up staying longer than expected because I didn’t listen closely to my secretary and I didn’t read my itinerary until after I had left. Oops.

Ireland has changed a great deal since the last time I was there. Mainly there are now blacks in Ireland. I wonder whose bright idea that was? The Irish blacks are very different though. They all look exactly a like. I mean I couldn’t tell the difference between the black men and the black women. The Irish blacks are different than the descendents of slaves in the states though

One difference was I saw a black dude running out of a convenience store in Ireland carrying a six pack of beer and he just kept running. He didn’t jump into a Cadillac Escalade or a Chrysler 300. The guy was in excellent shape.

When we went into the convenience store to buy a soda pop, I heard the guy behind the counter saying that one of the those crazy blacks had stolen some beer. The convenience store had no security system and the black hadn’t stabbed the clerk. This was all very weird to me.

I need to catch up with what’s happening on every ones blogs. I missed you all. I especially missed the hot women. Nothing personal Lazy.

Justice fo’ all.

Ah-ooooo, Gators of Durham

2007-06-25T21:54:00.000-04:00

I saw a gator with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Durham in the rain
He was looking for a place called P F Changs
Going to get a big dish of sweet & saur chicken

Ah-ooooo, Gators of Durham
Ah-ooooo
Ah-ooooo, Gators of Durham
Ah-ooooo

If you hear him growling around your kitchen door
You better not let him in
Hot lady got spanked late last night
Gators of Durham again

Ah-ooooo, Gators of Durham
Ah-ooooo
Ah-ooooo, Gators of Durham
Ah-ooooo

He's the smooth-handed gent who ran amok in Parma
Lately he's been overheard in Clearwater
You better stay away from him
He'll rip your heart out, Dirty
Ha, I'd like to meet his stylist

Ah-ooooo, Gators of Durham
Ah-ooooo
Ah-ooooo, Gators of Durham
Ah-ooooo

Well, I saw Doozie walking with the Queen
Doing the gators of Durham
I saw Doozie walking with the Queen
Doing the gators of Durham
I saw a gator drinking a margarita at the Mexican Restaurant
His hair was perfect

Ah-ooooo, Gators of Durham
Ah-ooooo, Gators of Durham

PS I’m flying to Ireland tomorrow to look at some new technology that I might be interested in investing in. I should be back on Friday unless of course I eat some bad potatoes. I would like to say Asa lama lakem to all my Muslim friends.

Justice fo' all.

Florida State University Student

2007-06-25T21:52:00.000-04:00

Justice fo' all.

Why Do White Trash Boys Wear Saggin’ Pants?

2007-06-25T16:48:00.000-04:00

Researchers who study such trends offer the following as to how this subculture originated.

The study states that during American slavery, some black slaves were forced to rape their gay white masters, and after the gay deeds were consummated, the gay white masters would wear their pants saggin’ so that their slaves could identify them for future pleasures.

In other words, gay white masters wearing saggin' pants were said to be announcing that they were available for their black slaves. Over time, the style became a little-talked-about subculture that seeped into general white gay trash culture.

Dr. Doozie, child psychologist, says most young white trash boys do it because they want the black boys to put their snakes in their hiney hole, plain and simple.

Justice fo’ all.

Man Catches Record Tarpon With Cane Pole

2007-06-24T18:55:00.000-04:00

Laz Y. Iguana says his new wife, Lakisha, gets all the credit for this fish. After Honeymooning in Atlanta the newlywed couple went out on Herr Krokodil’s flats boat for some Tarpon fishing at the mouth of Tampa Bay. Krokodil had recommended a rod and reel but Lakisha said you be better served using a cane pole wid a dough ball.

The Lazy plans on having the fish mounted .

Justice fo’ all.

We Built This DiverseCity

2007-06-24T09:00:00.000-04:00

By Krokodil

Chorus:
We built this diversecity, we built this diversecity on hip an' hop
Built this diversecity, we built this diversecity on hip an' hop
Say you don't know me, or recognize my face
Say you don't care who goes to that kind of hood
Knee deep in the crack, sinking in your fight
Too many homie thugs eating up the night
Bobby Cutts plays the white ho, listen to the boom box, don't you remember
We built this diversecity, we built this diversecity on hip an' hop

Chorus:
We built this diversecity, we built this diversecity on hip an' hop
Built this diversecity, we built this diversecity on hip an' hop
Someone's always playing long black snake games
Who cares they're always changing black snake names
We just want to party here, someone stole her life
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page
Bobby Cutts plays the white ho, listen to the boom box, don't you remember
We built this diversecity, we built this diversecity on hip an' hop

Chorus:
We built this diversecity, we built this diversecity on hip an' hop
Built this diversecity, we built this diversecity on hip an' hop

PS I'm an amateur song writer.

Justice fo' all.

Weekend Riot Planned in Downtown Durham

2007-06-23T09:17:00.001-04:00

Durham — The party iz on in Durham. A city-wide riot iz being held Saturday ta honor da new downtown plaza an' da increase in Hate Crimes on whitey.

The Durham Rising riot starts at 4 p.m. wiff live hip-hop rap on three stages. The kick-off ceremony will start at 6 p.m., wiff uh parade following at 7:30 p.m. The riot wraps up wiff uh handcannon Show Spectacular at 9:30 p.m.

The city has spent about $13 million on renovations in downtown Durham, including new streetscapes an' lights. Leaders said da improvements will he`p attract mo' homies ta da area.

Durham has received he`p in da form o' both public an' private investments, including $1 billion worth o' new low income housing, office an' retail space. Crews gots converted three streets from one way ta two way, an' dey serve as da city bacon bazooka, linking downtown ta other districts.
and sheet.

Justice fo all.

Nothing New Here

2007-06-21T22:46:00.000-04:00

Justice fo all.

Transit Chief Apologizes to Kissing Lesbians Kicked Off Bus

2007-06-21T20:55:00.001-04:00

Akron, Oh. — A transit agency chief apologized Wednesday to two lesbians who were kicked off a city bus for kissing each other.

The lesbians, said the driver called them "sickos and kinda hairy" after a male passenger complained that his view of the women making out was obstructed by a big black dude. The driver then stopped the bus along the street and forced the lesbians off.

"Removing the lesbians from the bus was not consistent with our policy," said General Manager Herr Krokodil. "I want to reiterate that the only riders that really cause problems are the blacks, I have nothing against lesbians especially the hot ones on our system."

The 42-year-old driver, an 11-veteran who was identified as Ms. Saur Kraut, will be disciplined, Krokodil said, though no details were released.

"We sincerely apologize to the lesbians for this incident," Krokodil said in the statement.

Justice fo’ all.

Descendents Of Slaves Sacrifice Wetback at Juneteenth Celebration

2007-06-20T19:26:00.000-04:00

AUSTIN, Texas (OPP) -- Homies celebrated Juneteenth by sacrificing uh wetback who drove right up to the celebration in a red Trans Am, Tyrone Williams said Wednesday.

Williams believes 2,000 ta 3,000 revelers wuz in da area fo' uh Juneteenth Celebration Sacrifice sponsored by Cadillac and the new shinier Escalade.

Williams said that normally a Honkie is sacrificed at the Annual Juneteenth Celebration but in the spirit of making a stand against illegal immigration we decided to sacrifice a wetback.

The liberal media claimed dat da descendents of slaves conducted the sacrifice without the aid of guns or knives. This prompted the liberal media to classify this Juneteenth Celebration Sacrifice as the most pimp-tight in history

Justice fo’ all.

Woman Downs 56 Weiners In 12 Min.

2007-06-19T21:04:00.000-04:00

157-Pound Woman Downs 56 Weiners And Buns In 12 Minutes To Win Contest

(OPP) B. A Doozie, a 157-pound social worker, demolished the competition in the 5th Annual Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest by downing 56 franks and buns in 12 minutes.

Doozie, 42, was the only woman in Saturday's field of 53. Her 56-dog meal was substantially more than the men flanking her _ and weighing in at 360 and 359 pounds _ could manage.

"Seven hundred-nineteen pounds of man, and they are losing to a 157-pound woman!" announcer Herr Krokodil yelled into a microphone as the crowd roared.

Laz Y. Iguana, the large Miami man on Doozie's right, stood and shook his head in wonder as the crowd counted down the last 10 seconds. Doozie kept stuffing her cheeks.

"I was kind of thinking I could probably outeat her, but she was incredible," said Iguana, who took second with 25 1/2 dogs.

Major League Eating is pushing Doozie as a breakout star this year, her rookie season. Her mouth and jaw structure is perfect for gulping weiners.

"Without any question, she is one of the future leaders of the sport," Krokodil said.

Doozie said she grew up in a small apartment in China without much food and often was hungry because the Chinks would steal her food.

Justice fo' all.

Blogger Iguana Weds Model On Boat

2007-06-18T19:12:00.000-04:00

It Was The Fifth Wedding For The Blogger

(OPP) Metro-Dade County Blogger Iguana married super-model Lakisha “Ebony” Williams in a private ceremony Saturday on the Miami Riviera, in front of 1,000 friends and family members at a medieval oyster bed off El Pato Cove near the Overtown District, his assistant confirms in a statement.

A reception followed overlooking the coast of Santa Crack Ho, just outside the posh Overtown resort on Miami's western coast.

Dinner, dancing, smoking crack and fireworks lasted until the early hours as the newlyweds left on an Atlanta honeymoon.

It was the fifth wedding for the 32-year-old blogger, best known for hits like "Mr. Slave" and "Melliwinks." Iguana and Ebony, 27, have expressed interest in adopting a one-year-old Pakistani son together.

Justice fo' all.

Krokodil Shows Off His Cultural Side

2007-06-17T09:16:00.001-04:00

I've never been a big culture Dude, but when I visit New York City I always try to fit in a play.

While in NY I saw the Broadway Hit Show "Hair." It was one of those plays that really made me think about my purpose in life and how I needed to consistently be in a positive frame of mind. This movie helped me in that now I always look on the bright side of things, nothing good ever comes out of negative thoughts.

Word of warning, the Europeans visiting NY have terrible body odor much like they do when they are at St. Pete Beach. The ones from London are especially nasty smelling.

The clip below is from the play, I hope it has as profound an impact on you as it did on me.

Justice fo all.

Think Before You Buy A Swimsuit

2007-06-16T17:51:00.000-04:00

Swimsuit shopping can be a nightmare! Getting the right suit is the key. Here supermodel Emma wears an unflattering suit on the left and a flattering suit on the right. Oh what a difference a suit makes. The one on the left sells for $39 at Lane Bryant Plus and the one on the right sells for $449 at Krokodil Specialty Swimwear.

Justice fo' all.

Nifong - White Conservatives Were Right

2007-06-15T18:53:00.000-04:00

RALEIGH, N.C. - A tearful white liberal attorney, Mike Nifong said Friday he will resign as district attorney after admitting that his liberal views were racist about three white Duke University lacrosse players who were once charged with raping a black stripper.

“The conservative white community has suffered enough.”

The players were later declared innocent by state prosecutors.

Nifong who is a white liberal district attorney in Durham North Carolina an area made up predominantly of Africans. The district attorney felt he had no choice but to prosecute the white boys or the community would riot. It’s really a shame that a fine college like Duke sits in the middle of one of the most violent areas in this country.

In a positive note it was nice to see so many black strippers at Duke’s National Championship Lacrosse Match this past month. I think this showed a lot of integrity and courage for the black strippers to come out here and cheer on the Duke Boys after all that has transpired.

Justice fo all.

Upset with wife’s blogging, husband stabs computer

2007-06-14T19:02:00.000-04:00

An Akron man who caught his wife blogging with a very handsome man who has very nice hair decided to log her off for good early Wednesday — by stabbing her computer with his switchblade, police said.

The gentleman, 26, of Akron, was arrested on charges of reckless endangerment, simple assault, terroristic threats, disorderly conduct and harassment.

Police allege the gentleman stabbed his wife’s computer tower 35-times after a 2 a.m. argument inside a bedroom on the second floor of the couple’s residence.

According to an affidavit:

After returning home Wednesday, the gentleman became angry that his wife, Sarah, was chatting with a very handsome man with very nice hair on the blog site “Justice Fo’ All.” He first spanked her in the kitchen and then tried to drag her upstairs by her brittle and over-treated hair.

Once upstairs, he stabbed the computer and began sniffing the bathing suit she had worn that day.

No one was injured.

Officers recovered the knife, a black Springfield Armory knife, with a leather handle and a snap-out toothpick.

The gentleman was arraigned and transported to the Akron City Prison.

Sarah said, “I was starting to lose interest in my husband but he looked so sexy stabbing the computer.”

Bail was set at $50,000.

Justice fo' all.

Ubangi Lipscomb and the Juneteenth Celebration

2007-06-13T20:09:00.000-04:00

The African holiday calls for celebratory dishes and hate crime baiting

St. Petersburg resident Ubangi Lipscomb loves to celebrate Juneteenth -- the celebration that commemorates the end of slavery and the beginning of widespread crime in the United States.

To Ubangi, Juneteenth is like Christmas, with lots of looting and eating.

"Whenever Juneteenth is mentioned my sweet thang Lakisha seems to light up," Ubangi says.

Culinary historian Laz Y. Iguana says Juneteenth traditions usually involve watermelon, fried chicken and crack.

Beyond the food, the homies have added hate crime baiting to the festivities. This practice combines elements of stealing and showing disrespect all into one event. A once-obscure hate crime offense has made its way to the forefront of the celebration. Steal a poor white male’s wallet, who is a single father because his wife died of breast cancer, and see if he doesn’t yell racial slurs as he runs after you.

Enjoy your Juneteenth festivities.

Justice fo’ all.

PS Don’t forget Father’s Day. I told my daughters a long time ago that if I don’t get a card and a gift on Father’s Day they will be written out of the will. No excuses. Cards have to be in the mail by tomorrow to make it on Saturday.

Beagle Found Bound and Gagged and in the Trash Can of Miami Man

2007-06-12T20:32:00.000-04:00

IDAHO. - A beagle that disappeared from its Idaho apartment in May has been found 2,230 miles away at “The Lazy Iguana’s”, a Coral Gables Gay Hispanic bar and grill in Miami..

The dog, named Howler, was found by a big-boned sensitive trans-gendered man named Mr. Emma Wednesday in the parking lot.

The next morning, the Metro-Dade County Police found a microchip in Howler that let them figure out he was registered to an old woman who lived in a small bottom floor apartment in Idaho.

The police contacted Howler’s speechless owner on Friday.

The woman said “ I thought for sure the hot crazy woman with the flabby butt had killed Howler and ate him like the Vietnamese do, thank heavens he’s home safe.”

Justice Fo’ All.

Lunch with Hot Associate gets Nasty

2007-06-11T19:28:00.000-04:00

I was looking forward to having lunch with this hot associate of mine. I had stuffed some bounty paper towels in my suit pants because I wear my emotions in my pants and I didn’t want to mess up my pants. We were to meet at the Italian restaurant.

I walk into the restaurant and walk up and greet her and then she proceeds to cough in my face. Is this hot babe really going to have lunch with me with that nasty cough? She coughed the whole lunch, on me, on my meatball sub, on my coke and on my chips. She made no attempt to cover her mouth. To make matters worse her skinny throat and rounded mouth acted like a megaphone making each cough sound like the bang of a jackhammer.

After lunch I pulled the dry bounty towels out of my pants and wiped her saliva off my forehead.

Justice fo’ all.

Herr Krokodil - Certified Hot Babe Counselor

2007-06-10T14:07:00.001-04:00

Dear Herr Krokodil,

Question: I’d like to start out by saying you have exquisite hair. But I digress, I’m a married 29 year-old hot babe with 3 children and lately I’ve been somewhat depressed. I’m a stay at home mom so it’s not work stress. My hair is damaged but it is blonde and I look hot. As far as exercise, I run 10 miles per day. Why does the grass seem greener on the other side of the street?

Love, Dirty

Answer: Dear Dirty, Thank you very much for the hair compliment. I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that.

But to your issue, let me first say that I have the utmost respect for hot blondes in their late twenties. When I’m at a nude dance club I always tip the hot blonde in her twenties the best. Your problem is the result of you running 10 miles per day. The constant pounding has caused brain damage and has left you mildly retarded. I will say that some of the most exciting dates I’ve been on have been with mildly retarded hot women. Stop the running and spend that time eating cinnamon pretzels and drinking 3-berry blast smoothies.

Regards,
Herr Krokodil

Justice Fo' All.

Descendent Of Slaves Beats Mr. Ed

2007-06-09T21:55:00.000-04:00

CINCINNATI (OPP) - Mr. Ed was no match for the model thug Ocho Cinco.

The Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver was waiting at the finish line when Mr. Ed arrived at the end of his one-eighth-mile gallop. That's right: the Homie raced a horse Saturday and easily won.

The Homie was spotted a 100-meter lead - roughly about half the distance Mr. Ed had to cover because he had just smoked some crack. And when it was over, Cinco, as usual, was anything but humble. He sounded ready to take on Lassie, Flipper, Lazy Iguana and Herr Krokodil.

"Ricky Booby, you're next," the Homie said. "... Now it's my time to take over the race world."

Mr. Ed's jockey, B. A Doozie, rode a horse that beat former Bengals Honkie receiver and Florida Gator Cris Collinsworth in 1993.

"He's quick," Doozie said. "He's a fast man. That was phenomenal. When I looked over at him, all I could see were his legs; he looked like he was running out of a 7-Eleven. He was a blur. I was beat bad."

Justice Fo All.

North Carolina Has Best Beach

2007-06-08T22:14:00.000-04:00

When North Carolina was awarded the best beach in America I was a little surprised because I thought my Clearwater Beach was the best. I went to Clearwater this week to help my duaghter move and I saw first hand why Clearwater was no longer the number one beach in America. The crazy people of Clearwater are putting a road on the beach. I took some pictures of the road. This is just mad-crazy. There weren't any hot babes at the beach either. I was dissappointed but luckily on the way to the Jet Executive Center I got a vanilla cone dipped in chocolate. Oh I love those things.

Justice Fo" All.

Homie Killer Cries Like Paris

2007-06-08T17:56:00.001-04:00

PHOENIX (OPP) - Former Arizona State running back Loren Wade was convicted Thursday of second-degree murder in the slaying of another Sun Devils football player.

The 23-year-old Wade was on trial for first-degree murder in the death of Brandon Falkner, who was shot outside a Scottsdale nightclub on March 26th.

Prosecutors claimed Falkner was shot because Wade saw him talking to his girlfriend.

Wade faces a maximum of 22 years in prison for second degree murder.

Al Sharpton said that he should not have to serve his full sentence like Paris because the Honkie he killed had showed him disrespect by talking to his sweet thang.

Justice Fo’ all.

Sharpton Say “Descendants of Slaves Should Riot”

2007-06-07T23:04:00.001-04:00

NEW YORK (OPP) The Rev. Al Sharpton denounced Paris Hilton's release from jail on Thursday, saying it had "all of the appearances racial favoritism."

"I think that it's both another glaring display of how races seem to get different treatments.”

There seems to be a different criminal justice system for hot whites than blacks," Sharpton said.

Although Sharpton said he "would definitely sleep with that fine Honkie," he doubted similar treatment would be offered to his sweet thang Lakisha.”

"I remember one time I was in jail high on crack and I was tossing Cheetos and I wasn’t released," Sharpton said.

"I think that it gives a very bad signal to the approximately 2 billion black males in jail," said Sharpton.

Justice Fo’ All

Wetbacks Don't Care How Many People They Kill While Driving Drunk

2007-06-07T22:24:00.000-04:00

Justice Fo' All

Herr Krokodil Sex Therapist

2007-06-07T21:35:00.000-04:00

Dear Herr Krokodil,

Q. My girlfriend doesn’t want sex more than once a month. Recently, I accidentally found some material on her computer that indicates she enjoys lesbian porn. Is it possible she’s lesbian or is this a normal thing for some women to be into?

A. First let me say you are a lucky guy. Obviously your girlfriend wants to liven up your sex life by having some lesbians join in your love-making session.

The stereotypical woman wants sex once every month, not think other gals are attractive, and never, ever, be caught looking at another woman’s box in the locker room. Yet we create statues like Michelangelo’s “Emma” and the well-muscled statue of the ancient Doozie.

“Women are not allowed to look at each other, and it is certainly taboo for them to touch each other,” explains psychotherapist Here Krokodil, who treats both lesbian and trans-gendered couples at his practice in Clearwater, FL. “So that drives women to look at lesbian porn. Because it’s porn, it gives them permission.”

But why? According to Krokodil, the sight of erotic female images, often good-looking women with large breasts and long tongues, could be a form of transference, that a woman enjoys imagining herself so equipped and possibly an object of adoration by a harem of Victoria Secret models. She enjoys the sexual power implied.

Justice Fo' All.

Clearwater Man Accused Of Bow-And-Arrow Shootings To Celebrate His Birthday

2007-06-06T19:28:00.001-04:00

(OPP) Police said Senor Caiman fired the arrows from his condominium on Sand Key on Sunday, reportedly at some Asians drinking beer on the beach to celebrate his birthday.

One errant arrow hit a woman who was on the beach shouting at the hot babes, police said.

The woman, identified in the complaint only as Conehead., was yelling at the hot beach babes because they were using profanity when she felt something pierce her cone.

Caiman "admitted to shooting the arrow," according to the complaint, but told the Daily News in Tuesday's edition that Ms. Conehead walked right in front of the Asians.

"My intention was to pick off the Asians," he said. "My intention was not to pierce that fine cone head.”

The complaint said a crossbow, a compound bow, a plastic knife, an assortment of Japanese rifles, a glock, a hand grenade, numerous ears on a string and 49 arrows were removed from Caiman’s condominium.

His home telephone was not listed. His Legal Aid attorney, B A Doozie, declined to comment while she investigates the case.

Justice Fo’ All

Wetback Held in Fatal I-40 Wreck

2007-06-05T23:11:00.000-04:00

Raleigh — A wetback in a sport utility vehicle went through a highway median and crashed into a blue Kia Optima, driven by a 54-year-old white male. The white male died in the wreck.

The Tahoe was reported stolen in Charlotte Tuesday morning, according to troopers. Troopers said the wetback smelled of alcohol.

Agents with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement determined the wetback was captured twice in April 2004 trying to cross from Mexico into California, and his fingerprints matched those of the wetback in Monday's wreck, authorities said.

The Wetback is charged with DWI, felony death by motor vehicle, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, no operator’s license and careless and reckless driving.

"Right now, we're just dealing with a wetback who's given us a name. We have no proof who this wetback is," Caiman said. "It's always frustrating, but it can get really frustrating when you know that every wetback on the road is driving drunk and there's that communication barrier."

Justice fo all.

Woman Beats World Fish Stick Eating Record

2007-06-05T19:50:00.000-04:00

Ohio Woman Scarfs More Than 69 Fish Sticks In 2 Minutes, Shattering World Record

(OPP) An Ohio woman smashed the world record for fish stick eating at a contest Saturday, gobbling up more than 69 sticks in 2 minutes.

Sarah, 29, of Akron, shattered the record held by Ms. Emma of Oregon by downing 69 fish sticks during the National Fish Stick Eating Championship at the Homie Mall in suburban Akron.

Ms. Emma's old record of 68 3/4 was set last year at Krokodil's Famous Fourth of July Fish Stick Eating Contest, held at the South Beach Pavilion in Clearwater, said Michelle, who helps run the contests for Krokodil's.

Sarah placed second in last year's world championships, consuming 68 fish sticks.

"She's unbelievable _ she just keeps on stuffing them in," said Matt, who works for Mrs. Paul’s."

Sarah won a free trip to Cleveland, a year's supply of fish sticks and a $2,500 gift card to Anne Taylor Loft.

She flew to Cleveland on Sunday night to set cars on fire to celebrate the Cavaliers making the NBA finals, Krokodil said.

Justice fo all.

The Importance Of Being Good With a Knife

2007-06-04T19:41:00.000-04:00

Another Vietnam story. Just like today you can't tell the difference between a Homie that's going to stab you and a Homie that's going to pop a cap in you, it was hard to distinguish a Vietcong from a Vietnamese. We had befriended what we thought was a Vietnamese guy who would give us shaves. Well I noticed that each time he came and gave us shaves our ammunition supply would be bombed that night. Something fishy is going on here. So I stabbed him after my next shave and no more direct hits on the ammunition supply.

Justice Fo All.

Billy Don't be a Magic Thug

2007-06-04T07:04:00.000-04:00

The Florida marchin' band came down along Main Street
The players’ blues fell in behind
I looked across and there I saw Billy
Waiting to go and join the line
And with her head upon his shoulder
His young and lovely wife
From where I stood I saw she was cryin'
And through her tears I heard her say

Billy, don't become a rich Magic Thug,
don't be a fool with your life
Billy, don't become a rich Magic Thug,
come back and make me your Gator
And as he started to go she said,
Billy, keep your discipline to a minimum
Billy, don't become a Magic thug,
come back to me

Justice Fo All.

Babes with Hot Personalities

2007-06-03T22:27:00.000-04:00

Justice Fo All.

Top ten things Herr Krokodil would accomplish in his first 100 days if elected President.

2007-06-03T21:19:00.000-04:00

10. Nuke Syria and Iran.

9. Gather up the Mexicans and send them home.

8. Nuke Mexico

7. Nuke Cuba

6. Move businesses out of the inner cities.

5. Nuke the inner-cities.

4. Nuke Russia, Africa and Guyana

3. Nuke Miami after getting The Lazy out.

2. Nuke Louisiana

1. Charge the poor for free health care.

Justice Fo All

Doozie Says No Apology Forthcoming

2007-06-03T13:57:00.001-04:00

“I shot that big old nasty pig and I’m proud of it,” said Doozie.

Doozie had strong words for the liberal tree-hugging media when they questioned her about shooting Fred the pet pig.

Doozie said “the liberal media doesn’t know crap.” “I want to see them sit next to some fat pig on a commercial flight from Tampa to Dallas.” “I want to see them sit next to a fat pig in the movie theatre, that nasty old fat arm getting near my popcorn and Milk Duds, nasty.” “I don’t care if the fat pig was dressed up in the latest fashions from Lane Bryant that pig was going down.”

Doozie did say that she thought it was a little odd that the pig came right up to her and stuck it’s tongue in her ear.

Justice Fo All.

Day Lilies to Compete with Saur's Flowers

2007-06-02T22:26:00.001-04:00

Justice Fo All.

What Is A Hate Crime

2007-06-02T09:00:00.000-04:00

The Lazy in my last post had brought up that some people thought the Homies killing the Whiteys was a hate crime. This got me thinking, what is a hate crime?

Since starting my new blog its been like old Homie week with Tyrone Williams starting out with the Pledge of Allegiance and who just popped their disfigured head in the door but Ubangi Lipscomb. Ubangi stopped in to say that he was interested in being part of the “Justice Fo All” team as long as he didn’t have to work before 11:00am. A man with his talents makes his own rules.

I asked Ubangi what a hate crime was to him?

Ubangi said “it’s when my sweet thang Lakisha won’t give me some of dat gravy.”

You can’t always believe Ubangi, even though I love him, so I called the News and Observer, a local newspaper, to have them give me exactly what makes a crime a hate crime. It's actually pretty easy to identify. Here are some examples of hate crimes:

A Homie steals your wallet and as he's running away you yell "you stupid negro." Now you’re going to jail for a hate crime.

A Homie driving a stolen Excalade side-swipes your car and you yell out the window "you stupid negro." Now you’re going to jail for a hate crime.

There is still one scenario where the liberal media couldn't give me a definitive answer. Example:

A Homie steals another Homie's meth and as he escaping with the meth the one Homie yells "you stupid negro."

This is a gray area. Thanks to The Lazy for providing the impetus for getting to the bottom of “What is a hate crime.”

Justice Fo All.

Liberal Media Show Disrespect to Crime Says Asian Woman

2007-06-01T22:30:00.000-04:00

Justice Fo All.