Friday, March 20, 2009

double hernia operation



i'm no lomger interested in having sex, internet porn is enough for me.

i also had that nasty nubin on my stomach stuck back in.

The pain is really bad though.

in a bit of good news i was able to make a small fart this morning.

Six days since the operation and i was able to go number 2 today, thank you milk of magnesia.

update, i know i said i wasn't going to have sex anymore but that was before Valerie Bertonelli lost 50 lbs. i really want to get back in sex condition for Valerie.

sweating

82 comments:

M@ said...

I like Valerie, too.

dirty said...

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through so much pain...it sucks that you are old enough to be my grandpa because a sense of humor like yours tends to make my clothes fall off.

Someone at my place of employment got fired last week and another employee got written up for talking to me in the parking lot after we were off the clock...apparently they thought we were discussing the other employee's misfortune rather than when and where we were going to meet up next for sex.

krok54 said...

Hey Matt, I hope you are doing well. I hope your job thing was just temporary.

Dirty, when I feel well enough to start beating off again I'm thinking about you. I tell you that hernia thing did hurt.

I hope you get a lot of robin eggs in your Easter basket. I love those things.

It's just natural that your make work friends would lust after you, there is something about a slightly overweight woman with dark roots that drives us men crazy.

dirty said...

At this point in time my roots are lighter than my hair and it is the man that is slightly overweight...and I'm not really sleeping with him but I'm pretty sure everyone I work with thinks we are. I would sleep with you though...if you weren't balding.

krok87 said...

Dirty, I shave my crotch not my head. I have a full head of hair. If I post a picture of my hair, I want to make it quite clear it's only because I want to sex you. I don't want to sleep with you, I love being able to stretch out in my king sized bed.

I got a Dove chocolate bunny and man is it good.

You would love my new swimsuit, skull and crossbones by Ralph Lauren.

I bet you can down some candy.

krok45 said...

It's been 4-weeks since my operation and each time I beat off I feel stronger. I'm thinking in 3 weeks I'll be ready for a real woman.

krok87 said...

Ok Dirty you skank Ho, now apologize. I don't think I want to fuck you now. You were rude.

dirty said...

If this is you...and I'm skeptical...but if it is then I'm slightly aroused and I hand it to you...the perfect head of hair. I might sex you...depending on what restaurant you took me to beforehand.

I'm a bit thrown off though...by your not even slightly cool cell phone...what the hell is that about?

I didn't have any easter candy this year...it's almost bikini season and I'm not risking it...I plan to walk around with as little clothes on as possible.

dirty said...

PS...you love when I'm a rude cunt!

dirty said...

I'm on vacation until next Thursday if you are I interested in a hand job.

krok10 said...

Dirty, you and I are the only ones who visit this site any more so that is me. I normally don't have a wrinkled forehead but the bald cracks were making me mad. Bald people are trash like blacks.

I doubt you can give me a better hand job than I can give myself, but thanks for the offer.

I can do a lot of things with my hair. I bet you wish you had my curls and body.

That phone is cheap but it's my own phone, all my other phones are issued by my business and I don't play around with them.

I wish you weren't so boring.

dirty said...

I wonder why we are the only people to visit this site...we must be the last remaining classy people on the internet.

I do wish I had your curls but not your body...I have no idea what I would do with a pair of nuts.

Surprisingly you don't look old at all...who the hell are you trying to fool here?

Hand jobs are my specialty...lots of lube and a prostate massage and you'll never leave me alone...trust me.

I wish I wasn't so boring too...I thought for a second I should start blogging again but then I got lazy.

My husband and I made close friends with some alleged swingers...that could eventually give me some material.

krok23 said...

Dirty, swingers aye, that could liven up your gay boring life. Actually with kids it's probably good that you all are boring.

I don't know who I'm trying to fool, that's a good question.

I think I might be slightly whiter than you, I have no tan lines.

I believe you about the hand jobs, I scream profanities every time I get a hand job.

Well it's time for me to go to bed, have a great sleep.

dirty said...

I'm an over achiever when it comes to being white...I even stopped going tanning so I wouldn't be considered a supporter of our new president...the things I will do for my country are immeasurable.

I don't know who I'm trying to fool either come to think about it...I'm going to need to do some research.

On being boring...you got me...I'm off all week and I'm hanging with a 5 year old...beat that.

dirty said...

I do however plan to eventually one day run away with and marry a gay man...

krok82 said...

Dirty, That's what mothers are suppose to do hang with kids. You need to join a play group that has gays in it or atleast swingers.

You should seen me after my operation, I could have starred in any adult movie. I think all the swelling has actually left me bigger. I can hardly wait to show you.

Have you purchased your new bathing suit yet? I got a skull and crossbones suit from Ralph Lauren, it looks great on me.

Go make dinner, don't be a bad wife and mother.

dirty said...

Dinner isn't until late tonight due to my daughter's gymnastics training...she trains 10 hours a week and harps on her brothers for eating unhealthy foods...I'm so proud.

I haven't bought a suit yet...it is still to cold to even think about it. Skulls are hot...is it a banana hammock? I love those.

I'm friends with all of my oldest son's friends parents ...the younger 2 on the other hand...their parents are all douche bags.

I'm going to drink wine tonight until I pass out...that's just how I roll.

krok98 said...

Dirty, I just got a hard on thinking about you. That's what I love about you.

I hope you are drunk and fucking the heck out of your husband. There's nothing better than drunk wild sex.

dirty said...

I'm drunk and folding laundry...does that qualify as a good time?

My husband went to bed at 930...he is an old lazy bastard.

If I could touch your hard on I would give you my underwear ...it would only be right.

krok45 said...

Dirty, If I had your undies for just a week I'd have trouble breathing because I'd sniff them up into my nasal cavity.

You need to stop giving me hard ons, people are gonna start to talk.

Hey he brings home the bacon, he needs a girlfriend.

I hate doing the laundry but the Mexican and the American were stealing shit from me.

Please wear your undies for 2-days and then send them to me.

dirty said...

I generally try to avoid underwear...so much work to take them off...but for you I would wear them...only because you have a great head of hair.

I'm the one who brings home the bacon...he just pays the cable bill...the only thing that nan needs is a personality transplant.

krok45 said...

Dirty, please don't second guess your decision on a husband, you did the right thing. Your first marriage should always be based on looks, you wouldn't want ugly kids. Also he's probably only grumpy because you aren't giving him blow jobs, girl you need to step it up.

I bet your pussy smells wonderful, I'm anxious.

dirty said...

It smells like sun tan oil...it is a pretty glorious scent.

If my first marriage should have been for looks then I made a huge mistake...thank god my kids took after me.

You are probably right about the blow jobs though...I just don't think he deserves that.

The man wears rubber gloves to pump gas...how am I supposed to take him seriously? Plus his bipolar-ness makes me want to hurry myself alive.

krok34 said...

Dirty, I'll bring a strawberry douche for you. You are luck to have your husband after 3 kids. Does he date any women from work? Is his hair as nice as mine?

How's the economy in Ohio? I'm surprised Fifth Third hasn't closed your branch.

Luckily my job never ends. It's my own business.

Bipolar is scary, I have a polar bear in my trophy room.

dirty said...

He only works with other men and he doesn't bother to shower before work...he works for the city and spends his lunch HOURS on the phone with me...there is no time for him to date. Let's just say he is lucky to still have me ...

The economy sucks here but its Ohio...there are still collectively more fingers than teeth in this state...its ridiculous.

I wish my branch would close...you picked the wrong bank though...I work for the one that molests their customers for sales...let me tell you about our exclusives.

Will you please give me a job? I hate mine.

My husband doesn't have as good of hair as you...his is thin...stupid age was supposed to make him look better.

krok45 said...

Dirty, Well I guess he really loves you, I'd always be harping on you to do something with your hair.

I could hire you but what my business requires people who are really smart and quick on their feet. I'm a power trader, heck probably some of the power that charges your vibrator comes from me.

I just got back from seeing the movie Observe and Protect and the cosmetic counter girl reminded me of the way I picture you to a t. You and your husband should see it.

Oh good news I had the top down in the MB today so I now have some color in my face.

Have a great weekend.

dirty said...

My hair looks really good lately. Who knew one of those hot irons could makes ones hair appear healthy and shiny...it's amazing.

I don't go to the movie theaters...because they don't serve alcohol and I can't use the pause button.

The weekend was amazing. We were at baseball tournament games all weekend and I got a sunburn.

My friend might let me come see her embalm a body here soon...I hope it's not you.

I don't want to go back to work today...my boss is a real cunt.

krok82 said...

Dirty, I'll have to take your word on the hair because normally when I hear hot iron I think of damaged. Although some people would call my hair damaged because it is so course.

I saw Fast and Furious last night and fell in love with Van Deesel, jk.

Oh the joy of kids in sports, I remember those days.

My body is so hot you would take me to the texidermy.

Do you ever have sex with your boss? Is she big?

You should see my hair today, I look like a model.

The Doozie said...

This was so nauseating I quit reading after a few posts. What the tarnations is wrong with you people?

Krok, you are stepping it up in the area of naughty flirting, If I were you, I would reconsider. Flirting can be dangerous to your health. The last thing you need is more health problems, it already sounds like you are ready for a retirement home. Or maybe you could get a trailer in a senior park in arizona?

The warm sun might do you good.

Ps...I'm back

The Doozie said...

Also, I had a 22 yr old this weekend. I have no scruples

krok78 said...

Doozie, Welcome back. I was asking the amazon woman if you were alright a while back and she said you were fine. I know you are fine.

A 22 year-old, oh my goodness. You can pull it off, your butt is a flabby but you hide it well.

I can't get to your blog, do you have me on probation?

That double hernia operation was a bear. It's good to be beating off again to internet porn.

The Doozie said...

My blog is back up. I've been uninspired. Hey, last night I was trying to hook up with this sugar daddy. I got a text on my phone and was looking at it, he said to me "put that away when you're talking to me". He's done.

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