Dear Herr Krokodil,
Q. My girlfriend doesn’t want sex more than once a month. Recently, I accidentally found some material on her computer that indicates she enjoys lesbian porn. Is it possible she’s lesbian or is this a normal thing for some women to be into?
A. First let me say you are a lucky guy. Obviously your girlfriend wants to liven up your sex life by having some lesbians join in your love-making session.
The stereotypical woman wants sex once every month, not think other gals are attractive, and never, ever, be caught looking at another woman’s box in the locker room. Yet we create statues like Michelangelo’s “Emma” and the well-muscled statue of the ancient Doozie.
“Women are not allowed to look at each other, and it is certainly taboo for them to touch each other,” explains psychotherapist Here Krokodil, who treats both lesbian and trans-gendered couples at his practice in Clearwater, FL. “So that drives women to look at lesbian porn. Because it’s porn, it gives them permission.”
But why? According to Krokodil, the sight of erotic female images, often good-looking women with large breasts and long tongues, could be a form of transference, that a woman enjoys imagining herself so equipped and possibly an object of adoration by a harem of Victoria Secret models. She enjoys the sexual power implied.
Justice Fo' All.
14 comments:
I slept with a woman once back in high school...we were very drunk.
I'm on prednisone and am having some mental problems today. I'll be back later to try and patch this together and make some sense of it, if there is any sense to be made of it
So it isn't normal 14 times a week?
But if he is so ugly he could eat corn through a picket fence, I could survive by putting a bag over his head. It's fortunate Mr. Coffee is so hot.
Dirty,
Very cool. One time I slept with a fat girl in college because I lost a bet. You really need a long penis to go out with a fat girl.
Doozie,
If I were there I would pop some of those pus filled sores on your butt.
Emma,
Have you been talking to Mr. Hand?
Mr. Coffee is the best. Make sure you tell him that because I have booty traps around my house.
I would think you would need a fat penis...I feel stupid now.
I think you are wise to kiss the ass of mr coffee. I have met him personally and he frightens me. He is large and he is in charge
I just went to the store and bought a Marie Calenders Pie and vanilla ice cream and some tollhouse cookie dough. It's like someone is smoking week around here.
weed. someone is smoking weed and they can't even type right. they are high
Dirty,
Don't feel stupid, you are under a lot of stress with the interview. The fat girl hurt my feeling when she asked when I was going to stick it in. That was uncalled for.
Doozie,
Thanks for the advice, but I'm more scared of Emma.
Tommy,
I love cookie dough ice cream. What about cookie dough ice cream in your crack?
Tommy,
I converted my meth lab into a house to house Paris.
too lumpy...cracks don't need to much lumpy stuff in them, it would remind me of poop
Me,
Excellent point.
You are afraid of me? Cause I may, or may not have an AK and know how to use it?
It's a pre-ban stock even though it's not banned any more. Clinton was so smart to ban collapsible stocks. Cause we all know that collapsible stocks are the #1 Cause of death in the hood.
Em oakley,
History tells me to be afraid of people who dye their hair auburn. I've had 25 pieces of schrapnel taken out of me so aim for my head it's kinda soft.
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