An Akron man who caught his wife blogging with a very handsome man who has very nice hair decided to log her off for good early Wednesday — by stabbing her computer with his switchblade, police said.
The gentleman, 26, of Akron, was arrested on charges of reckless endangerment, simple assault, terroristic threats, disorderly conduct and harassment.
Police allege the gentleman stabbed his wife’s computer tower 35-times after a 2 a.m. argument inside a bedroom on the second floor of the couple’s residence.
According to an affidavit:
After returning home Wednesday, the gentleman became angry that his wife, Sarah, was chatting with a very handsome man with very nice hair on the blog site “Justice Fo’ All.” He first spanked her in the kitchen and then tried to drag her upstairs by her brittle and over-treated hair.
Once upstairs, he stabbed the computer and began sniffing the bathing suit she had worn that day.
No one was injured.
Officers recovered the knife, a black Springfield Armory knife, with a leather handle and a snap-out toothpick.
The gentleman was arraigned and transported to the Akron City Prison.
Sarah said, “I was starting to lose interest in my husband but he looked so sexy stabbing the computer.”
Bail was set at $50,000.
Justice fo' all.
11 comments:
Nothing hotter than a man wielding a knife..except maybe a nice car, tall, dark and handsome with nice hair. Mr. Coffee donates his thick gorgeous hair to a landfill on a daily basis. Such a shame.
Mmmm...I enjoy a good stabbing.
My husband was so jealous of your nice hair.
How did you know that I blog in the kitchen? Are you spying on me?
It's really a shame when husband has to go to all that trouble to get his point across. That sarah really needed to be taught a lesson. I"m sure now she will be much more submissive and obedient...at least when he gets out of prison
Emma,
I use to hate my hair when I was young because there was so much of it but now I'm glad. I don't have anything against bald guys except the glare from their head.
Dirty,
That bush in your side yard that is actually me.
I knew when he found out he wouldn't be happy. Please don't rat me out.
Doozie,
Excellent advice. I think to get that type of woman you have to order her from Vietnam or Russia.
That picture looks censored. What is she really sucking on? Hmmm?
That bush has great hair...I should have known it was you.
Mcbunni,
I'm hurt that you would think that I would alter a photo. I'm not that type of person. That is a Mrs. Paul Breaded Fish stick that she is sucking on. Those things are great with ketchup.
Dirty,
You're not thinking about shaving that bush back are you? I have connections in the bail bonds business if need some help with the husband.
I'm taking a shower now and then off to get a smoothie and a pretzel. I just love those things.
Will you bring me a pretzel please? I'm not a huge fan of smoothies.
I would never shave that bush back...I love it's glorious locks.
I just bought two packages of Goldfish Crackers - Buffalo Wing flavor.
I have felt like stabbing my computer before. But then I realized it is not the computer, it is the shitty Microsoft operating system. Can I just stab that and leave the perfectly good hardware out of it?
Dirty,
The pretzel is sitting on the counter and you're not here. What gives? If you're not here soon it's going to Smelly Dos.
The Lazy,
You are so much more computer literate than I am. If you're having trouble I say stab the software. Just don't call an IT guy because you'll get in trouble for stabbing them.
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